Having Help

Towards the end of my pregnancy many people asked me if I was going to have any help when then baby came? Was my family coming or was Jason's family coming and I always replied .."nah, we'll be fine". They all thought I was crazy. I didn't think it was a big deal to live so far away from our family or close friends. I'd been living far away for so long it didn't necessary. BOY WAS I WRONG! When Jason's mom heard I was having a c-section she immediately got in her car and drove 10 hours to come help for a week. At first I didn't think it was necessary but I was proved to be soooo very wrong. I'm not sure how we would've gotten through the first week without her. After she left I cried....and cried and cried. How would we manage without her? I was scared to death. Then my parents showed up about a week later and my mom stayed for a week. When she left I cried and cried...again, how would I manage this new life. Jason went back to work also and I was left raising this little boy. I spent many days on the phone with family and friends trying to figure it all out. Over the next 5 weeks I've managed pretty well but most importantly I have a new appreciation for family and...I can't believe I'm going to say this....would like to move closer to either side in the very near future. I've never been one to be so attached to family but having Luke has completely changed my view. I want him to be raised near his grandparents, great aunts and uncles as well as cousins. I also figured out that I need to make time for myself to get refreshed and feel like me. Its important for me to be on top of my game with him as much as possible. Its funny though, recently I was counting the days until my mom arrived again so I could hand him off and get some sleep, do some shopping, get my hair done, etc..but she arrived and I have found that I still can't peel myself away from his little face. I spent 3 hours at a salon yesterday sending messages to my husband to see how Luke was doing. I tried to stop but I couldn't. This morning they went for a walk and as I type this I am sitting by the door counting the minutes til he is back. Well, at least I'm letting someone else help right? Babysteps....