Still new baby/new mommy syndrome

I've been putting off taking the baby to the gym for many reasons...#1 was because he was so young but he has reached the 3 month mark and I can't shield him from germs forever. I took him on a plane for crying out loud. I don't know why I've dreaded taking him to the kid's club at our gym. Yes I do...its because I was scared no one would watch him or take care of him. Everytime I said I would do it I would make up an excuse to justify not taking him. Its too hot outside, oh was that a sneeze..nope we can't go, he was fussy or sleepy, etc. So this week I'm without a nanny because she's on vacation and I've GOT to get my workouts in. I dreaded it and dreaded it but today I just did it. I told myself..30 minutes isn't going to kill either one of us (hopefully) so I'm just going to do it and I'll take him during a time that isn't busy. I compromised with myself because thats what we do right? I had butterflies in my stomach the whole way there. Took him in and of course I annouced to the girl how nervous I was and that this was his first time. She looked at me like "and...what do you think is going to happen?". That was my cue to put him down and walk away. I took a blanket for him to lay on in a bouncy because I'm quite positive those things have never been washed...I AM compromising. I quickly jetted off for a 30 minute run on the treadmill. I looked around the entire time thinking that they would for sure come and get me because they couldn't calm him down or something happened or even someone stole him. Monica was in full force (if you've read my other blogs you are familiar with Monica). Well 30 minutes was up and I walked VERY quickly back to the kid's club and there he was safe and sound. He was smiling at the girl that was talking to him. She said he never even whimpered. Of course he didn't. He looked at me like " awwww mom you're back already...I was just throwing my game to this girl". He was happy. The slober all over his shirt proved it. He was also exhausted from all of the stimulation so we changed his shirt, gave him a snack and put him to bed where he still sleeps. Again...I need therapy.