Ugh the guilt I feel today is overwhelming. What an emotional day and its only after the first night of letting him cry. Usually I went in after 5 minutes to soothe him and it only took two times for him to go back to sleep and usually he slept for 6-7 hours a stretch but lately he's been waking up after 3 or 4 hours. He isn't hungry....no dirty diaper...and he's safe...the only conclusion is that he wants someone to come in and get him. I wasn't sure but last night he woke up at 12:30 which was WAAAAYYYYY before his usual 3-4am wake and he stopped crying as soon as he saw me. I soothed him and left the room. 5 minutes later he had spit out his paci and was back at it...this time I waited 20 minute. When back in, checked him, rocked him (which immediately stopped the tears) and put him back to bed. 10 minutes later...back again. This time I waited an hour and he eventually fell asleep. The only thing that really bothered me was that he didn't have his hands to suck on but he put himself back to sleep. He was back at it around 3:15 though. Checked him...he was fine. It didn't take him as long the second time which made me feel better but I was certain he was never going to figure me for it...and that was if he made it through the night. Yup...I thought for sure he would die without me. He slept until 6am so we survived the first night. I'm already dreading tonight but it can't get worse right?
I know that some moms think I'm doing this way to early and we were really going to wait until he was 4 months but last night we had to pull the trigger or his bad habits were going to continue and I've got to be honest...after 11 weeks of inconsistent sleep for both of us it was beginning to be too much. You may not agree but I'm doing whats best for both of us.
You can only do what feels right for you, you're his mom and you know best!
ReplyDelete