Friday, August 5, 2011
Life as I know..well..actually life as I knew it....
I'm still adjusting. Yes..even after 14 months I'm still adjusting to a different way of life. Remember the blog I wrote awhile back about how much my career meant to me. Well apparently I was trying to convince myself that the company I worked for actually cared about me. The person that worked so hard for them for ten years. It wasn't until the night I laid awake wondering how I was going to juggle the next travel trip while my husband also traveled that I finally realized...WHAT AM I DOING? I'm a mother now and I can't keep shuffling this child around to fit my company's needs. They have to understand right and help me somehow. Uhhh negative. What a reality check when I went to my boss to discuss what I was going through; the guy that always preached.."family first"...said ok well when is your last day? WOW right? He made a promise to support me in finding another position but never did. So after a month of emotions and feeling defeated, I woke up. What am I doing? I love my little boy so much so why not make a better career choice that benefits all of us...including the dog. I mean did I really think 30 years from now I'd be working with the same people. Good Lord NO! At 34 I've decided to go back to school and get my Master's in Education with a certification to teach grades K-8. Yep..me...the person that NEVER took school seriously is actually going to teach small children and I've never been more excited about a decision. Will it be hard? Absolutely. But guess what, I'm so at peace with my decision that its already worth it. I'm settled, completely tuned in at home and as my best friend said recently "your so tan and just...relaxed". Yep. No more planes, rental cars, hotel rooms and late night blackberry checks. I'm done with corporate life and once again, I only have my son to thank. Cheers to you!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Its almost been a year....
Its been a long time since I blogged and its been almost a year (May 26th) since Luke was born. I can't believe it. A full year...so much has happened.
It was a year of a complete roller coaster. I already feel smarter for baby #2. And no...that isn't happening anytime soon. I'd rather sit back and enjoy Luke for right now.
Things were hard. A baby brings a lot to the table. Things I couldn't even imagine. I thought that by getting married later and being so independent, it would brace me for what was to come. Ummmm no. I was shot backwards into my mid 20's the day he entered my life. You know the place...where you are unsure of who you are, where you came from, who you were going to be. Yep...all the things I had taught myself went right down the drain. I didn't even know if I wanted a career anymore. I think I finally came up for air right around 6 months and said to myself "you can do this...he's a baby...get it together". And I did. We are approaching a year and Luke is already walking, saying "dadadadadad" and "dog" of course. He is crazy smart (of course he has already figured out how to push the buttons on the TV when is video isn't on which is my cue to turn it on) and is VERY energetic. Finding things to keep him entertained has been challenging but keeps me sharp as a mom. I just discovered puzzles. For now it buys me 10 minutes.
I've also learned a lot about myself. I want a career AND be a mom. I still need to learn more patience and I've learned that I absolutely without a doubt need to make more time for my husband. I've learned so much more but I could type for hours. The most important thing is actually what I learned today. My stress is his stress and I can't be a super mom in order to make him happy because at the end of the day if mommy is stressed then so is Luke. Time to take another breath and sit back to take it all in.
Luke has taught me so much about unconditional love. Family and good friends are the only things that matter to me now. He has taught me to let go of any old issues and just love those people that are most important to me because I just want to share every single moment with them. His joy of meeting these people sends a pulse of happiness right through me. I love this child more than I could have ever imagined. Its a love I never thought I could experience. I miss him the instant I am gone and can't wait to see his face when he discovers I'm back.
I thank God for blessing me with this beautiful little boy. I will forever be grateful.
Happy almost one year my sweet angel.
It was a year of a complete roller coaster. I already feel smarter for baby #2. And no...that isn't happening anytime soon. I'd rather sit back and enjoy Luke for right now.
Things were hard. A baby brings a lot to the table. Things I couldn't even imagine. I thought that by getting married later and being so independent, it would brace me for what was to come. Ummmm no. I was shot backwards into my mid 20's the day he entered my life. You know the place...where you are unsure of who you are, where you came from, who you were going to be. Yep...all the things I had taught myself went right down the drain. I didn't even know if I wanted a career anymore. I think I finally came up for air right around 6 months and said to myself "you can do this...he's a baby...get it together". And I did. We are approaching a year and Luke is already walking, saying "dadadadadad" and "dog" of course. He is crazy smart (of course he has already figured out how to push the buttons on the TV when is video isn't on which is my cue to turn it on) and is VERY energetic. Finding things to keep him entertained has been challenging but keeps me sharp as a mom. I just discovered puzzles. For now it buys me 10 minutes.
I've also learned a lot about myself. I want a career AND be a mom. I still need to learn more patience and I've learned that I absolutely without a doubt need to make more time for my husband. I've learned so much more but I could type for hours. The most important thing is actually what I learned today. My stress is his stress and I can't be a super mom in order to make him happy because at the end of the day if mommy is stressed then so is Luke. Time to take another breath and sit back to take it all in.
Luke has taught me so much about unconditional love. Family and good friends are the only things that matter to me now. He has taught me to let go of any old issues and just love those people that are most important to me because I just want to share every single moment with them. His joy of meeting these people sends a pulse of happiness right through me. I love this child more than I could have ever imagined. Its a love I never thought I could experience. I miss him the instant I am gone and can't wait to see his face when he discovers I'm back.
I thank God for blessing me with this beautiful little boy. I will forever be grateful.
Happy almost one year my sweet angel.
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