Its been a long time since I blogged and its been almost a year (May 26th) since Luke was born. I can't believe it. A full year...so much has happened.
It was a year of a complete roller coaster. I already feel smarter for baby #2. And no...that isn't happening anytime soon. I'd rather sit back and enjoy Luke for right now.
Things were hard. A baby brings a lot to the table. Things I couldn't even imagine. I thought that by getting married later and being so independent, it would brace me for what was to come. Ummmm no. I was shot backwards into my mid 20's the day he entered my life. You know the place...where you are unsure of who you are, where you came from, who you were going to be. Yep...all the things I had taught myself went right down the drain. I didn't even know if I wanted a career anymore. I think I finally came up for air right around 6 months and said to myself "you can do this...he's a baby...get it together". And I did. We are approaching a year and Luke is already walking, saying "dadadadadad" and "dog" of course. He is crazy smart (of course he has already figured out how to push the buttons on the TV when is video isn't on which is my cue to turn it on) and is VERY energetic. Finding things to keep him entertained has been challenging but keeps me sharp as a mom. I just discovered puzzles. For now it buys me 10 minutes.
I've also learned a lot about myself. I want a career AND be a mom. I still need to learn more patience and I've learned that I absolutely without a doubt need to make more time for my husband. I've learned so much more but I could type for hours. The most important thing is actually what I learned today. My stress is his stress and I can't be a super mom in order to make him happy because at the end of the day if mommy is stressed then so is Luke. Time to take another breath and sit back to take it all in.
Luke has taught me so much about unconditional love. Family and good friends are the only things that matter to me now. He has taught me to let go of any old issues and just love those people that are most important to me because I just want to share every single moment with them. His joy of meeting these people sends a pulse of happiness right through me. I love this child more than I could have ever imagined. Its a love I never thought I could experience. I miss him the instant I am gone and can't wait to see his face when he discovers I'm back.
I thank God for blessing me with this beautiful little boy. I will forever be grateful.
Happy almost one year my sweet angel.
